I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I am available for nakedness
Randomize
