well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
