Can i not drive my cunt home
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
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