I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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