Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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