Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
