my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
