U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
she told me i tasted like america
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.