apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster