Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me