In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
