Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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