your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
