Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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