Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
