if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
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