he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
