Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Come on in and take your pants off
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