Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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