Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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