high people should be assigned attendants
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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