i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
