we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
