Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i think i have two assholes
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
