Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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