Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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