Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
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