Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
ugly people sure do ruin things
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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