I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
