ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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