did you get engaged???
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
there is glitter all over my balls
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