Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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