Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
