my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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