Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
