Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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