I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize