Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
