Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
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