Your mouth is God's brothel.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
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The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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