whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
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