Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
