Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Randomize
