awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
