What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Randomize
