bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
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