Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize