i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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