Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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