That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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