"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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