batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
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