Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
