I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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