woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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