If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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