I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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