dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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