i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
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