I feel like I'm in dance class right now
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
