Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
