I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
