wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
