I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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