Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
