dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
it glows. i had to have it.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
All I want is dick and wine.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
