This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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